


Let Her Go

by vast_difference



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Fluffy Smut, angst should be minimal, i guess?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-02 19:23:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8680411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vast_difference/pseuds/vast_difference
Summary: Set immediately after "The Kill List." The blinds are drawn. They're alone, and they haven't seen each other in months. What could POSSIBLY happen?





	1. Office Space

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, I own nothing. Playing in the sandbox, etc. ect.
> 
> Inspiration for the title, because apparently I'm not very original in this department:
> 
> "Let Her Go" by Passenger
> 
> Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
> Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
> Only know you love her when you let her go
> 
> Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
> Only hate the road when you're missing home  
> Only know you love her when you let her go  
> And you let her go
> 
> **NOTE- This is unbeta'd. I wrote this whole thing tonight in two sittings. It's been tapping on my shoulder for days now and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. I'll do my best to proofread it tomorrow in case I missed anything. There will be a few more chapters, more than likely.

Even before the blinds in their shared office fell closed at the fumble of Bernie’s hand, it was hard to tell where she ended and Serena began. _Hungry_. They were both so hungry and desperate for close contact after so many weeks apart… weeks that had stretched into months. I didn’t matter in that moment that Serena was still at least a little bit mad at Bernie for leaving in the first place, nor did it matter that Bernie was still several parts terrified of fucking the whole thing up. It would matter later on; eventually they would have to have _that_ discussion. But the rawness of their initial kisses masked those vulnerabilities and obstacles and allowed them to mull below the surface long enough for the two of them to start forging a tangible connection. At least in _this_ way.

 

And for the second of three times, it had decidedly been Serena that had slid into Bernie’s personal space and claimed her lips. Unsurprisingly, though, Bernie got herself on equal footing with Serena rather quickly, kissing her back voraciously and running her hands anywhere on Serena’s sensational curves that she pleased. The first time that Bernie dared to let her hand wander down to caress Serena’s ass, the moan it elicited from deep in the other woman’s throat kicked something off in Bernie that had been dangling on the precipice ever since the co-leads had snogged on the theater floor the day that Fletch was stabbed.

 

For the first time since they had started, Bernie pulled back from Serena’s lips just long enough to see the beautiful, stunned flush in her cheeks and the pronounced black desire in her dilated pupils; Bernie saw nothing that gave her pause. The initial rushed panic of their physical reunion suddenly pulled out of hyper-drive when Bernie’s tongue had its first taste of Serena’s neck. The vertical lines of stars blinding both of their eyes focused back into pinpoints, and the moment slowed down but somehow managed to intensify. Bernie kissed her way all around the exposed skin of Serena’s throat, one side and then the other and then back again.

 

Now Serena was sighing ecstatically while her hands were exploring the expanse of Bernie’s undeniably muscled back. Without any warning at all, one of her hands slipped up into Bernie’s scrub top and deftly slipped her cool fingers right _under_ the boarder of Bernie’s bra.

 

“Serena,” Bernie muttered lowly between her ministrations, the only coherent word spoken between them since Serena’s stilted, “ _Ignore him_ ” to Jason only minutes beforehand.

 

A drawled “ _Yes_ ” was the only response Serena could muster, as Bernie fastened herself in earnest to the pulse point on Serena’s neck and pushed her back to sit on the Spartan gray cabinet they had only just perched against during their conversation. Bernie stood between Serena’s legs, their bodies flush against each other, and Bernie’s mouth didn’t let up even slightly. _I’m fifty-one years old and I’m going to have a bloody hickey on my neck before the day is out_ , was all Serena could think. Well, that and the fact that she realized she actually _wanted_ a hickey from Bernie. Wanted to be marked by her.

 

Just. _Wanted her_.

 

It was almost like their bodies allowed them a telepathic connection, because though Serena probably didn’t realize it, there had been the tiniest hitch in her hands’ roving exploration of Bernie’s back during her train of thought. Worried, Bernie pulled back to look at Serena’s face again. This time Serena was nearly out of breath, as was Bernie, but they stopped long enough to _really_ smile at each other. Not blinding smiles, but content nonetheless.

 

Just as her smile reached her eyes, however, tears fell unbidden from Serena. _Too much._ So much _everything_ after so much _nothing._

 

“Sorry,” she half laughed, still smiling through the tears, bringing both of her hands up to her face in a vain attempt to salvage what remained of her carefully applied makeup. Bernie took the smallest step back so that she could see Serena’s face a little better and brought her hands to rest unobtrusively on Serena’s waist.

 

After a second, Bernie chanced, “Is this making you uncomfortable?”

 

“What? No!” Serena blurted. Bernie didn’t look fully convinced, so Serena threaded her arms behind Bernie and hugged her close again. “It’s just…” My God, were their roles reversed right now. Serena completely at a loss for words and Bernie coaxing her to articulate her emotions. “Bernie, I _missed_ you. And I don’t just mean… _this._ ” Serena tilted her head between them as an indicator. “But _you_.” She squeezed Bernie even tighter to her, resting her head against the place on Bernie’s chest where her scar just peaked out from her scrub top.

 

And instantly Bernie’s arms gathered Serena in an equally tight embrace. And they just… held each other.

 

They had never done this before. There had been subtle touches of comfort: a pat on the arm here, a rub to a back there. Handshakes. High fives. Furtive hip-bumps. The sideways half-hug that Bernie had offered Serena after Arthur’s service.

 

Even _arm wrestling._

 

And yes, desperate smashing embraces that left no air between them but summoned more questions than one of Jason’s QI shows.

 

Before now, all of their touching amounted to extremes.

 

But this… unyielding _tenderness_. This comfort. This was… _new._

 

And Serena’s tears still fell sporadically onto Bernie’s scrub top, but Bernie just rubbed calming circles around her back with the palms of her hands and kissed the crown of her head. Serena just hugged harder and burrowed.

 

“I’ve got you,” Bernie murmured into her hair eventually, her own tears threatening to fall now. “I’ve got you, Serena.”

 

Serena finally raised her head to meet Bernie’s eyes again. “I’m afraid you’ll leave again,” she whispered. “If things get too difficult, or if we can’t get on properly…” Serena looked away. “We’re both so blasted stubborn, after all.”

 

“Serena.” Bernie gently took Serena’s face in both of her hands, using her thumbs to wipe away what was left of her tears. “I’m not going anywhere. I came back from Kiev because I couldn’t stand to be away from you for a single day longer than I had to be. Especially after I got that text saying you missed me…” A single cackle from Serena cut her off, and Bernie dropped her hands looking confused. “What’s so funny?”

 

“Well,” Serena smirked. “ _Jason_ is actually the one who sent that text, believe it or not.”

 

“Jason?”

 

“After everything happened with Robbie…” Serena swallowed hard and tried to press on in spite of the flint that flashed in Bernie’s eyes at the mention of his name, “…we had a little heart-to-heart and he figured out that I was really pining after you. So he took matters… or well, at least my _phone_ into his own hands. I can’t say I’m sorry he did it, though.” She cast her eyes downward and reached down to thread her fingers through Bernie’s now dangling ones. “I was too proud, you were too scared…”

 

“I’m still scared,” Bernie confirmed, and Serena had suspected as much. Bernie released one of Serena’s hands to run her own fingers through short brown locks. Serena closed her eyes and sighed at the contact. “But I want to work through it. With you. I want to do everything _with you.”_ And Bernie smiled her most coquettish smile, the one that sent Serena weak in the knees each time it graced Bernie’s countenance; and because of that she was very glad indeed that she was still sitting down.

 

This time it was Bernie who _decidedly_ stepped back into Serena’s space until there was nothing between them but fabric, and Bernie who slipped her hands inside Serena’s open blouse in order to slip her fingers beneath the bottom of the black camisole under it. And while she did that, Bernie moved in to part Serena’s lips in a kiss that would supersede all of their previous ones with both sensuousness and intent.

 

Later, _much_ later, both of them would come to think of _this_ kiss as their First Real Kiss. It was the opposite of all of their previous kisses; painstakingly slow, tongues moving against each other and across lips and _oh God_ now Bernie was sucking on Serena’s bottom lip in such a way that all Serena could think about was what it would be like to have Bernie sucking on her _other_ lips like that. Making her come. And God, did Serena Campbell need Bernie Wolfe to make her come.

 

Right. Fucking. Now.

 

“Bernie,” Serena panted against her lover’s lips. Oh yes, they were lovers now. Or they would be on the double quick. “I need you.” Serena further emphasized her point by running her hands down inside Bernie’s scrub pants and tracing maddening patterns on her underwear. _Oh_. They felt lacy.

 

Bernie groaned at the feel of Serena’s nails on her pants and replied immediately, breathlessly, “I know darling, I need you, too. So much.”

_Darling. Did she just call me darling?_ Serena mused. “I mean I need you now. _Right now_.” And Serena took one of Bernie’s hands that was still playing under her camisole and placed it unabashedly on her center, though still on top of her pants.

 

Though she didn’t know exactly what it was at the time, alarm bells went off in Bernie’s head at this declaration. Somehow, she remembered where they were and how they had ended up here. Jason had locked them in the office. Jason had also been keeping a watchful eye on them, and heaven only knew when some supposedly “concerned party” was going to try and burst through the locked down doors to allegedly rescue them. But Bernie never wanted to be rescued from _this._

 

Bernie took one of the deepest breaths she had taken in her life, exhaled, gingerly moved the hand hijacked by Serena to rest back on her hip, and lovingly placed her forehead against Serena’s. Bernie looked directly into Serena’s eyes so there would be no mistaking her feelings on the matter.

 

“Serena, any minute we’re probably going to have either Jason or security busting open that door. And I don’t want the first time I get to touch you.. like _that_ … to be interrupted. By anyone. For _any_ reason.” Bernie started massaging Serena’s hip, which was probably a mistake, but really she could be expected to be only _so_ gallant, under the circumstances.  “Because I don’t particularly want to be quiet… “ And then Bernie’s voice dropped nearly an entire octave, and she spoke right into Serena’s ear “…and I _know_ you’re not going to be quiet. And I don’t want you to be. I want to hear you react to every. single. thing. I do to you.” Serena groaned and her head plopped down to rest on Bernie’s shoulder. “Am I clear, fräulein?”

 

Serena looked at her, stunned. All she could manage was a feeble, “As crystal, major.”

 

“Good.”

 

And not a moment too soon, because Serena hardly had the words out of her mouth when they were both startled by the sounds of a key jiggling in the lock of the door next to them.

 

“Told you so,” Bernie snarked, and Serena smirked right back at her.

 

Jesus Christ, this was going to be so much fun.


	2. The Space Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's slow, but it's still coming. Thanks for reading! And thank you to everyone who left kudos and reviews on the first chapter... I suck at responding to people, and I'm going to try and do a better job, because y'all are LOVELY :-D

As it turned out, Bernie displayed exemplary timing in putting the brakes on their tryst. Jason had, in fact, managed to misplace the lockdown keys in that very short span of time; it added up to about ten minutes. But my goodness, how much had transpired in only _ten minutes._ Fletch had needed to tend to a patient immediately, so Jason’s partner in crime wasn’t around to assist with executing the end of their tenure as Serena’s wing-men. Had he been present, Fletch would have assuredly told Jason that calling security was not necessary. Bernie and Serena obviously weren’t in any danger; and truly if they were interrupted in a compromising position, the party responsible for unlocking the door was much more likely to befall an unfortunate fate.

 

It was clear to both women, however, when they stepped out of their office after being reluctantly “rescued” by security that Jason had definitely shared more information than was strictly necessary during his phone call. Both of the men who responded looked more than a little befuddled at the situation.

 

“Are you ladies alright?” the taller of the two asked. “This young bloke said that he had locked the two of you in the office… I still don’t quite understand why…”

 

But Jason broke in, “Auntie Serena, why did you and Bernie close the blinds? When I couldn’t see you anymore and you didn’t answer when I called your names, I became worried.”

 

Typically, Bernie snorted. She leaned back against the door frame, crossed her arms, and shot Serena a knowing smile across the doorway.

 

“Absolutely no help whatsoever, you are,” Serena muttered under her breath, but her eyes still crinkled in mirth. Fortunately, Fletch picked that moment to return to the scene of his and Jason’s meddling.

 

“No problem here, gents… nothing but a misunderstanding,” Fletch offered benignly. “Ms. Campbell and Ms. Wolfe simply shut the door to their office without realizing that the lock was thrown. Couldn’t locate their keys. Jason here was just trying to help out his Auntie, weren’t you Jason?”

 

Jason protested, “But Fletch, you know that’s not what ha-…”

 

“Come along with me then, Jason.” Fletch used Jason’s good elbow to pilot him over to the nurse’s station. “Got a question for you.”

 

Although both were trying their damnedest not to laugh, Bernie and Serena schooled their expressions to the epitome of innocence. Serena once again commanded her usual authority to address the men from security.

 

“Well gentlemen, we certainly do appreciate your zealous efforts to liberate us, but as you can see we are perfectly fine,” she patronized.

 

“As you say, Ms. Campbell,” the shorter officer nodded. “As long as you’re sure there’s no…”

 

“Oh, she’s absolutely sure.” Bernie smiled tightly. “Thanks so much.”

 

Wannabe Sherlock and Watson didn’t seem convinced. But understanding that the head of the ward had effectively dismissed them, both men took both the hint and their leave posthaste.

 

Bernie gave the part of the ward within their periphery a quick once over; in spite of the melodrama playing out in their own little corner of it, most of AAU seemed to be bustling along as usual leading up to the dinner hour. Since they were not currently attracting much undo attention, and Fletch seemed to have Jason adequately occupied, Bernie took the opportunity to grab Serena’s hand and drag her back into the office.

 

Once they were inside, Serena allowed her giggles to escape as she walked over to sit on the corner of her desk.  For her part, Bernie closed the door, threw the inside lock, and leaned back against it. A languorous and sensual smile spread across her lips, an expression of openness that Serena was sure she had never witnessed on her best friend’s face.  She felt any remaining bricks in the emotional fortress she had constructed to keep out her big macho army medic over the past several weeks crumble to nothing.

 

They were in so much trouble. But it was the best kind of trouble.

 

Bernie closed the distance between them slowly, her walk over to Serena’s perch on the desk both enticing and deliberate. Serena inhaled a shaky breath when Bernie wordlessly took Serena’s hands to place them on the waistband of her scrubs and snaked her own arms around Serena’s neck.

 

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Serena attempted, but it lacked her usual bravado. Bernie had thrown her quite off balance, after all.

 

“Well then we’ll just have to think of some other places to meet, then won’t we?” murmured Bernie before she parted Serena’s mouth with her own. This kiss was unhurried, and maddeningly thorough. Serena was dizzy with Bernie’s nearness, already starting to want more again, and without even thinking she found her fingers exploring the skin she found just under Bernie’s top. Bernie moaned deep in her throat, Serena’s gentle but purposeful touch making her feel every nerve in her body tenfold. Serena couldn’t ever recall eliciting such sounds from another human being, but she decided then and there that her new mission in life was to collect the moans of Bernie Wolfe.

 

Their renewed interlude gathered momentum in record time; but before things could progress very far, it was Serena’s turn to remember where they were. “Bernie,” she rasped between kisses. “About those other places…”

 

“What places?” she husked, turning the attentions of her lips back to Serena’s neck since she currently seemed so determined to use hers for talking. While Bernie’s previous trail had moved down her neck, this time she worked her way upward until she could take Serena’s earring-clad lobe into her mouth. The taste of metal mingled with Serena’s skin, but the combination only intoxicated Bernie further.

 

“ _Ooohhhh_ ,” Serena exhaled, her interruption dying on her tongue. She couldn’t recall a time when someone else had turned her on so much by doing so little. Well, not little… but _for God’s sakes_ they both still had all their clothes on. _She may bloody well kill me when we’re naked._ And then Serena’s mind wandered to actually being naked with Bernie, in a bed, and she was gone again; she began lightly stroking up and down Bernie’s rib cage with her nails and planting distracted kisses all over her collar bone.

 

Bernie could hardly cope with the reverence in Serena’s touch; she felt so undeserving of it after everything she had put her through. Bernie cupped Serena’s cheek with her left hand, drew her close at the waist with her right, and found her mouth again. The kiss wasn’t tender, but it morphed into their most intense one yet. It was everything Bernie wanted to say to Serena, but could never seem to find the right words to convey: lust, yes, but need and also a terrifying feeling of love that bubbled uncontrollably from her soul.  

 

For all they knew, an hour could have passed before it finally registered with the two of them that Jason was banging on the door and shouting their names. Almost immediately they heard Fletch’s more subdued tones shushing him, but Bernie’s startle response had drawn her back from Serena enough to put a few inches between them. Their expressions were a mirror, each a reflection of burning cheeks, quick breaths, and pupils that would have called the consumption of mind-altering substances into question in any other context.

 

Serena couldn’t bear even the tiny distance between them after _that_ kiss, and so she pulled Bernie flush against her again with just enough roughness to be possessive. Bernie approved, because she actually laughed; and it was her real, sort of ridiculous and entirely adorable bark. This sparked Serena’s own rich chuckle, and she halfheartedly raised her eyes heavenward to plead for the return of her self-control.

 

“If our coupling were of a different sort and we weren't so long in the tooth, Jason would make excellent birth control,” Serena managed between chortles.

 

At that remark Bernie’s giggles passed into the silent stage, and she rested her head on Serena’s shoulder as she attempted to gather herself. Bernie’s whole being felt lighter than she could previously recall, and her joy at Serena’s presence and humor and light came off her in waves. Serena reveled in this joy, such as she had never seen Bernie radiate. She fully embraced Bernie around her back and planted a kiss in her hair that hung between them like a semicolon; it drew a veil of finality over their current tryst but promised that the long game of the interlude was far from over.

 

Another knock. “Ms. Campbell?” Fletch hesitated. “Ms. Wolfe? I’m doing the best I can out here, but Jason’s gettin’ a mite worked up because you aren’t answering the door.”

 

Bernie raised her head, and she and Serena regarded each other with wistful smiles. Bernie backed up so that Serena could slide off her perch on the desk.

 

“About those ‘other places to meet’…” Serena’s own feet were suddenly of great interest to her, and she reached to take Bernie’s hand almost shyly.

 

“Auntie Serena!” Jason bellowed, yet again.

 

Serena closed her eyes, sighing her frustration at the never-ending interruptions.

 

Apologetically, she started, “I don’t quite see how we can…”

 

Bernie instantly read Serena’s concern. “Don’t give it a second thought,” she interrupted in a tone that brokered no argument and gave Serena’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “You and Jason are a package deal. I’ve always known that. We’ll figure it out.” The fondness that accompanied Bernie’s secret smile threatened to buckle Serena’s knees.

 

“Really?” she marveled. Serena felt the tears prick the back of her eyes, but she forced them down. At her best, in her own way, Bernie had always shown both her and Jason a great deal of care and affection. But now that their feelings were out in the open, Serena felt the possibilities of Bernie’s unabashed care and affection explode into infinity. Her heart swelled.

 

Bernie nodded once. “Really.” She drew their joined hands to her lips and kissed the top of Serena’s.

 

Relieved, she returned Bernie’s smile. Serena then took her own turn pulling their hands to her lips and answering Bernie’s tender kiss to the hand with one of her own.

 

Serena raised an eyebrow. “Together?”

 

Bernie responded with finality. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not British. Let me know if my language doesn't flow in that regard.
> 
> This will probably have three-ish more chapters. I may bump the rating up to "E" when the time comes, because I don't plan to hold anything back. 
> 
> I make no promises about the expedience of updates because RL is a bitch right now. Vacation?? WHAT VACATION????


	3. In the Same Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been like 8,000 years since I updated this. This chapter has been mostly done since the beginning of the summer, and then I wrote the last bit about a month ago, and then I finally got around to adding on a few descriptive touches at the end. 
> 
> And apparently now all of these chapters must have the word "space" in them and I don't know how exactly that started but now I'm just going to roll with it so hopefully the title isn't super lame?? IDK I haven't had enough sleep in weeks and today is the first time I've worked on something purely for myself in almost a month.
> 
> I love all of you, and thanks for all the kudos and comments and tumblr love. Y'all keep me sane <3 (Or as close to it as I can pass for, anyway.)

Their hands were still joined when Bernie unlocked the door to meet a confused Jason and a reluctant Fletch.

“Auntie Serena, what took you so long to open the door?” Jason demanded.

Still standing in the doorway, Serena squeezed Bernie’s hand; Bernie smiled her encouragement.

“Well, we just had a lot of things to talk through, Jason. It’s been quite a long time since we’ve seen each other, and…” Serena trailed off. She was usually fairly adept at explaining things to Jason in a way that he could understand, but in this instance the words weren’t forthcoming.

“You were kissing again, not talking,” he stated bluntly. Oops. Forgot about those blinds across from the desks.

“We were kissing and talking, Jason. Sometimes when people care about each other as much as your aunt and I do, they need to do both to express their feelings,” Bernie explained. Before she could check herself, Serena slowly turned to look at Bernie like she had sprouted a second head. Her eyes clearly said, when did you turn into the bloody Dali Lama? But Bernie just gave a nearly imperceptible shrug, and returned a smug look that said I just saved your arse, stop looking at me like that already.

“I see. Well I suppose that makes sense. Are you getting along properly now?”

Bernie and Serena smiled at each other shyly. “Right as rain,” Serena chirped. She finally let go of Bernie’s hand, but rubbed her arm affectionately before dropping her own hand to her side. Fletch was beginning to stare, and their little tête-à-tête was bound to be noticed by others if it went on much longer.

“Couldn’t be better,” Bernie chimed in, and she quickly realized it was no exaggeration. Considering everything they had been through in the last few months, the outcome of the last half hour was optimal. “In fact we were just starting to think about what we might all have for dinner together…”

“Oh, I won’t be home for dinner tonight,” Jason dismissed.

Serena snorted and crossed her arms. “And just where are you going?”

“Mr. Fletcher has asked if I would like to come and have dinner and an overnight with him and Mr. DeLucca and the children, because they are having a marathon of the original Star Wars films.”

Serena and Bernie both shot Fletch surprised looks, and he grinned knowingly.

“Yeah, I was telling Jason how Mikey and his mates have all gotten so keen on the films lately, and he’s been begging to go through all of them again before Rogue One comes out. Jason said he would enjoy talking with Mikey about Star Wars sometime, so I phoned Raf, and we both figured, no time like the present, eh?”

“And this is alright with you, Jason?” Serena posed, a hint of concern in her voice. God knows she wasn’t opposed, but she knew that Bernie would never ask her to compromise Jason’s well-being just to gain time alone together. “It would be quite a break with our usual Friday routine.”

“That is true. But I do very much enjoy talking about Star Wars with people who really appreciate it. And let’s face it, Auntie Serena. That just isn’t you.”

Bernie and Serena both made sure to keep their faces fixed on Jason, because they both knew they would be nothing but a laughing heap on the floor if their eyes caught one another. Later.

“Well… it appears to be all arranged, then,” Serena mused. She now chanced a look at Bernie, who seemed to exude an understated joy akin to her own with their current flush of luck. “What about your overnight things? I’ve some charting to do before I clock off…”

“I clock off in fifteen,” interjected Fletch, and nodding at Jason’s shoulder, continued, “And he’s obviously finished for the day. As long as he has a key, I figured I could take him by your place to pick up his things and we’d be on our way.”

“I’ve no problem with that,” Serena concurred.

“I’ll just go and get my things from my locker so that I can be ready to leave when Mr. Fletcher is,” Jason stated, and he turned to walk down the hall.

As soon as she was sure he was out of earshot, Serena turned to Fletch. She placed a hand on his arm and sincerely offered, “Thank you” in a low voice.

“Same,” Bernie added in a hushed tone before going back into the office to sit down at her own desk.

Fletch smirked. “Oh you’re quite welcome. I rather enjoyed helping Jason play Cupid. It’s for a good cause, and all… you’ve been nigh to insufferable for the last two months.”

“I have not!” Serena defended.

“Somehow I don’t have a difficult time believing that,” Bernie piped in from the office.

Serena turned to fix her with a heated stare. “Hush, you. It was your fault after all, if I was. Which I wasn’t.” But the bite was all playful this time. And off all things, Berenice Griselda Wolfe had the audacity to stick her tongue out at Serena. Oh, she’ll pay for that. I better start keeping a tally.

“Well no matter… go have a good shag and Monday will be more pleasant for all of us,” Fletch teased.

“FLETCH!” This time Serena smacked his arm. Bernie honked and her head fell on the desk in a fit of giggles. But Serena managed to compose herself and add, “And if I can ever return the favor…”

“Actually, Raf and I also chatted about that on the phone. We’d like to go out and have a pub night… at the same time… in a couple of weeks when that big rugby match is on.”

Understanding dawned across Serena’s features. “Ah, now I see.”

“Well, what do you have to complain about? Not like you’ve never sat with the kids before.”

“True. And this time I’ll have help.” She turned to grin evilly at Bernie.  
Bernie’s head popped up with a bit of a deer-in-headlights look, but Fletch was gone. Serena had the door closed again before she could say anything else.

“Small price to pay,” Serena murmured as she sat on the corner of Bernie’s desk.

Their eyes locked: matching warm smiles that brimmed with anticipation. Bernie wasted no time placing a hand on Serena’s thigh, rubbing lightly back and forth with her thumb until Serena couldn’t take it and stilled Bernie’s hand by placing her own over it.

“We cannot start that again right now.”

“Start what?” Bernie appeared the very soul of wide-eyed innocence, but Serena knew better. Incorrigible. 

“I really do have a stack of charts that must be finished today if I don’t want Ric down my throat.”

“Sorry,” Bernie said, but Serena could tell she wasn’t a damn bit sorry.

“It’s to both of our advantages if I just get it over with. The sooner it’s finished, the sooner we can leave. Do you want to go out for dinner, or come back to mine, or…” she trailed off. Serena realized she didn’t know the current status of Bernie’s living arrangements.

“Originally I hadn’t planned to come back for another week, so my flat is still sublet.”

“Did you stay in a hotel last night, then? Or actually I suppose I don’t know when you flew back.” So much to talk about.

Bernie hedged, looked down, but answered, “My flight got in this morning around 7:00. I came here straight from the airport in a taxi.”

“Have you even slept?!” Serena asked incredulously.

“A bit on the plane, but not much.” She began rubbing Serena’s thigh again, but in a gesture that was obviously meant to be one of comfort. “This may be hard for you to believe, but I’ve had quite a lot on my mind,” Bernie murmured, returning her eyes to Serena’s.

“I believe.” She stilled Bernie’s hand with her own and gave it a squeeze. “But you didn’t have to board a plane practically in the middle of the night and then work a shift all day. Darling, you’re crazy.” Serena moved her hand up to run it through Bernie’s hair, her gaze fond. Bernie leaned into Serena’s touch, a craving she wasn’t sure she would ever satisfy in a hundred years, if she lived that long. Before Serena knew it, Bernie was pulling her down to sit in her lap and wound her arms around her waist. Instinctively, Serena fastened her own arms behind Bernie’s neck.

“If I’m crazy, it’s about you.” For a moment, Bernie seemed almost as surprised at what had come of her mouth as Serena was to witness her being so transparent about her feelings. In most situations, such a line would have caused Serena to laugh, but she could tell that Bernie meant it earnestly. Bernie took a breath. “It was the first flight I could get on after I wrapped things up at the hospital, and I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to be here, Serena.” She brought a hand up to cup Serena’s face. “I wanted to see you.”

Serena was absolutely not going to cry again. She really wasn’t. So she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, relished in the feeling of Bernie’s weathered palm on her cheek. Then she opened them again to find Bernie’s expression so open and yet so very fearful. Finally facing the storm, but hoping there wouldn’t be one. Serena leaned in to rub Bernie’s nose affectionately with her own. At this, her face finally relaxed into a smile, and she pulled Serena even closer yet and leaned their foreheads together.

“It’s one thing for a person to be swept into the heat of the moment and make empty declarations,” Serena began quietly, “but when you said you’ve changed… I really do believe you mean it.”

Now Bernie’s tears were threatening. “Every word. Serena, when I’ve made up my mind, I don’t do things by the halves.” 

In spite of the seriousness of the moment, Serena’s face split itself in a grin. She giggled. 

“What is it?” Bernie’s brow furrowed.

“Oh, it’s silly.” Bernie’s answering look told Serena how impossible that was at this stage of the game. “Well, two things, really. The way you say my name. I’ve never heard anyone say my name quite the way you do. Like it’s so… special.”

“Mmmmm.” Bernie leaned in to trail kisses down Serena’s neck. “You are special.” She moved back up to Serena’s lips. “So special.” Serena responded immediately, but then around both of their tongues, Bernie managed, “What’s the second thing?”

Serena giggled again and pulled back to answer. “Not doing things by the halves…” she moved to push a few stray locks behind Bernie’s ear. “I’m hoping I’m going to get a thorough demonstration of that, Major.” Serena was sure she saw her eyes go a full shade darker. 

“Oh, Serena,” she tutted playfully, but the hot and lingering kiss that Bernie also used to answer brokered a more intense tone. “You’ve no idea.” Serena’s own response was somewhere between a groan and a growl. The kiss grew more insistent, and Serena couldn’t believe how quickly her desire grew with each caress of Bernie’s tongue against her own. Serena knew that she wanted Bernie more than she had ever wanted another person in her whole life, and the fact that she could feel all of that tenfold flowing back at her through Bernie’s kisses only fueled her own passion.

Out of breath and dazed a few minutes later, they eventually separated.

Serena began running her nails slowly up and down Bernie’s arms and purred, “We’re not eating out, are we?”

In answer, Bernie merely worked her lips back up Serena’s neck until she could gently bite her earlobe and said, “Well. Not at a restaurant.” Serena somehow laughed at the remark and moaned simultaneously from Bernie’s continued attentions to her ear.

“Takeaway it is then,” Serena sighed, more contented than she could remember being since… well, maybe ever.

She asked “Indian?” the same time that Bernie offered “Pizza?” Now they both laughed. 

“Chinese?” They said in unison. They only laughed harder. 

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE THIS LINE LIKE 3 MONTHS AGO AND I POSTED IT ON TUMBLR WAY BACK THEN AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT PEOPLE CAN FINALLY SEE IT IN CONTEXT:
> 
> "We're not eating out, are we?"
> 
> "Well. Not at a restaurant." 
> 
> I don't mean to toot my own horn, but this may be one of my favorite lines of dialogue that I've ever written.


	4. Shared Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interlude, of sorts.

In the end, Serena had said hang the charts. Ric would probably be waiting for her in her office on Monday morning, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Before Fletch's sharp knock to announce that he and Jason were leaving had scared the daylights out of both women, there had been another ten minutes of hot and heavy snogging in Bernie's chair. By that point, Serena's new stripey blouse was hanging haphazardly from her own computer monitor, her hands buried in Bernie's hair while she straddled her. Bernie's hands were up Serena's shirt and cupping her bra, though her thumbs had worked their way under the wire, and she matched the rhythm of her tongue against Serena's to the one she was stroking against the sensitive skin under her breasts.

Thank God Fletch hadn't tried to open the door; neither Bernie nor Serena would have ever heard the end of it from him or Jason. They untangled from one another giggling, with lingering kisses and light touches. Bernie plucked Serena's blouse off of the monitor and held it up for her to don once again. Serena felt a pang deep in her heart from the gesture, at the juncture where desire meets that something more that she didn't yet dare name aloud in Bernie's presence.

While Serena shut down both of their computers, Bernie slipped out to the locker room to change back into her street clothes and collect her few pieces of luggage. Upon her return, Serena drew in a quick breath as she drank in the sight of the woman who had occupied most of her thoughts and all of her dreams for the last several months; Bernie's legs in those skin-tight jeans and boots, and the way her blouse hung over them with such casual sexiness... was that neckline lower than usual?... and the familiar blonde fringe in her eyes? It was the perfect storm of both physical attraction to the form and emotional attraction to Bernie herself to nearly knock Serena to the ground right where she stood.

But instead of tackling Bernie to the ground and having her own wicked way right on the floor of their office, Serena decided that she was not about to be outdone by Bernie's chivalry. Without tearing her eyes from Bernie's warmly smirking ones, for there was no doubt she had read every dirty thought that had just gone through Serena's mind, Serena grabbed Bernie's coat off the rack and held it open for her. Bernie smiled shyly down at the ground and bit her lip, I'm like a bloody teenager, it's preposterous, and stepped into both the coat and the ensuing embrace that Serena wrapped around her from behind once it was on.

With her arms snuggly around Bernie’s waist, Serena’s nose caught the last trace of her perfume mixed with antiseptic mixed with shampoo and whatever spark that was uniquely Bernie was underneath all of it. Serena huffed out an “mmmm” of satisfaction while she stopped to nose and then finally kiss at the spot just behind Bernie’s ear. Not long before, Bernie doing the same to her had driven Serena mad with want, and the way Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena’s and lolled her head back on Serena’s shoulder indicated that the effect was mutual.

“Please, Serena,” Bernie murmured, clearly torn between revelling in the current sensation and anticipating the ones to come. “Don’t make me wait anymore. Take me home.”

“Mmmm. Right you are, darling.” Serena gave Bernie’s neck one last nuzzle and a kiss, and before Bernie’s wits had a chance to return about her Serena had pulled her own coat on and was leading Bernie out of the office by the hand. Neither had the presence of mind to let go as they walked to the lift, and should there have been any strange looks cast in their direction by AAU staff they certainly didn’t notice that, either. 

Bernie pushed the button for the first floor with her right hand, keeping the fingers of her left laced with Serena’s. They were blessedly alone in the lift, and once the doors were closed, they looked at one another and shared a smile that was both relieved and conspiratorial. How many times had they ridden in this lift together, Bernie wondered. In all the different stages of their relationship… from acquaintances to professional rivals to co-leads to friends to best friends to awkward friends to lovers… and after all of that, here they were. Still side by side, and flushly at that at the present moment. 

Feeling a bit overcome with that wave of emotion washing over her, Bernie raised their joined hands to her lips to kiss Serena’s knuckles. The look that Serena returned was equally as full, and she leaned in to plant a single tender kiss right on Bernie’s nose. She laughed a little, because she couldn’t remember a single person in her life ever kissing her nose, and frankly if anyone else had Bernie was quite sure she wouldn’t have cared for it. But Serena was different from everyone else she’d known in her whole life, and the music in the chuckle that Serena rumbled in response only confirmed that. 

When the lift hit the ground floor, the ding drew both of them out of their secluded bubble and back to the sobering reality of a Pulses that was packed with the dinnertime rush of sandwich-seeking staff and hospital visitors. As they made their way toward the outside doors that would lead them to Serena’s car, she gave Bernie’s hand one last squeeze before gently letting their fingers fall apart. Serena’s eyes looked apologetic, but Bernie just smiled tight-lipped, but not cross, and shrugged. They both knew there would have to be some discussion about how they would conduct themselves in public, and specifically on hospital grounds. But that was certainly for another time and another day, because the only thing either could think about at present was tearing each other’s clothes off and having sex until they were done in by orgasms or exhaustion. Whichever. Or, whoever, came first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this was kind of a short update. I now have a better idea of how I'll handle things once they get to Serena's, but when I wrote this chapter in like 15 different sittings because that's how my life has been during the last month, I wasn't very sure yet.
> 
> Just as an overall comment, I can't really get past the fact that I think the two of them were ready to bang each other's brains out at the end of "The Kill List." No, it probably wasn't the most prudent idea, and yes, they probably should have taken things a bit more slowly. But do I think that's what they did? No. I don't think either of them would have had the presence of mind to put the brakes on. They were too intoxicated with each other. Not that I think y'all didn't know where this is headed, but I just wanted to put that out there. This is about to get ri-goddamn-diculously fucking dirty in the next couple of chapters. HAPPY NEW YEAR, PORN IS COMING :-D

**Author's Note:**

> I am not abandoning "Ring of Keys." I just needed to write something canon right now.
> 
> Again, I'm American and I am still doing my best not to sound ridiculous!
> 
> P.S.- I LOVE THE ENTIRE BERENA FANDOM WITH ALL OF MY HEART! YOU GUYS ARE MY LIFELINE RIGHT NOW! 
> 
> P.P.S.- I'm jj-lockd and the-other-side-of-vast on tumblr.


End file.
